Looking back...

August 9, 2009 changed my life, what I thought was the worse day of my life, turned out to be an amazing turning point.  This was the day after Katie Duffey's best birthday.  We had gone to the Patti LuPone where she had met Patti and gone out after that.  I woke up the next morning to my car having not nice words keyed in several places on my car....which after taking to the insurance company was $1700 in damages.  I was devastated, I felt like I had been personally beat up.    I still to this day have never found the person that did this.  But over the next few days I was in a fog of depression and embarrassment.   After a night of crying on Manny's couch, I finally got the kick in the ass I needed.  She told me straight up that I needed to do something with myself to change, if its my job, where I live, what I'm doing....something needed to change because I was beyond depressed.  Then she suggested that I run the Nashville half marathon with the other girls and I laughed, thinking it was impossible.  Over the next few days I really considered it...what was really standing in my way?  So I laced up a very old pair of running shoes and went out for a "jog".  I couldn't at a very slow pace run 500 yards, and thought I had a very long way to go, but was now determined to this! I ended up running that half marathon and two more later in the year.  I lost 75 lbs.  I became a much happier person overall.....and it all started with some asshole who thought they were getting me down!

Here is a pic of me that night at the Lupone concert:

Looking back I never saw myself as big as I actually was, but this pic makes me so sad.  How did I ever let myself get to that point?

  Here is a pic of me before the State-to-State Half Marathon in September:

I'm not where I want to be currently, but  I am proud of how far I have come.  I couldn't have done this without my amazing support system who is always there with support and encouragement.  My Chicago family has not only picked me up when I was down but gave me the encouragement I needed to get here!

So thank you to whoever keyed my car that night, you made me realize how depressed I had let myself get and gave me the catalyst to get myself out....I never thought I would ever say that!

Living it up!

Yesterday I walked into work with the pleasant surprise that my friend Kathy had brought doughnuts...so I picked up a glazed cake doughnut (I am pretty sure this is the worst of the worst when it comes to doughnuts) and washed it down with a cup of hot chocolate (at least it was no sugar added).  It tasted amazing and I did not have one ounce of guilt.  Since I haven't grocery shopped this week, I stopped on the way home and picked up my favorite to go dinner...grilled chicken (covered in some yummy Italian oil), black beans and garlic mashed potatoes.  It was delicious.  It seems crazy that I could be working out so hard, why would I sabotage myself in this way, but in my mind I have 11 days left to live it up before things really start!  Over the last year I have definitely struggled with food.  If I dedicated myself to my food consumption as much as I did working out, I would have hit my 100 lb weight loss already.  But lets be honest I love booze and food and it is a constant battle for me.  So I have made the decision to live it up in the holiday season.  If someone brings in holiday cookies I going to have one (or probably two), or if I am asked out to go out to lunch I am going to go.  So for the next 11 days I am going to enjoy my favorite foods and not in moderation, but come Dec. 28th I am going to be ready to go!  I will not be able to eat Panda Express and train for a marathon.....too bad, I LOVE Panda Express.

Although my eating isn't exactly on track, my working out is.  Last night before my personal training appointment I ran 2 miles in 17 minutes.  That is a far cry for the girl who could not run 500 yards last August or even worse who could never run faster than an 11 minute mile in the Presidents physical fitness test in elementary school.  I could rock the sit and reach back in the day but run...no way?  I was always the chubby girl crossing the finish line last when forced to run 2 times around Union School.  This weekend I am going to try to see how fast I can run one mile.  I watched Biggest Loser where they ran the marathon this week and Ada ran a mile in 7:38, I'm am hoping to get close to that!  I have never ran less than an 8 minute mile in my life, I love hitting milestones :) 

I will hit my 100 lb weight loss by my 28th birthday.....24 lbs to go.  Okay lets not lie, I'm sure I' going to gain a few lbs over the next week...so 30 lbs to go :)

Taking on the elements

I am not a fan of the heat.  I really hate being hot, and in August I would have to run early in the morning to avoid the heat of the afternoons.  When I first contemplated about running the Flying Pig, I thought "Great, I won't have to train on the extra hot days with humidity."  In the late summer months, snow is pretty and fun (mainly because it so far off); my original thought was no matter how cold it became outside I could just bundle up and face the elements.  Then it became December.  Yesterday was a blizzard.  Today it took me 15 minutes to dig out my car and we had less than 5 inches of snow!  Now bundling up and running in inches of ice and snow just sounds crazy.  Lets be honest running when it is less than 10 degrees outside is dangerous not only for my lungs breathing in such cold air but also for my body because I am not the most graceful person in the world.  Falling on ice could risk breaking a bone, which for me is not worth the risk.  So unless a warm streak comes in soon, I will be stuck on the treadmill :(  Boring and mundane but safe.

My offical training plan starts in 15 days...eeekkk!!  I'm excited to a have a work out plan and not have to figure out what I'm going to the gym everyday but also the thought of having a work out plan for everyday for the next 18 weeks or 126 days seems a bit daunting.  Until then I am enjoying my freedom because I am about to lose it very soon :)

guilt

On Wednesday evening I didn't work out.  I went to Costco after work and walked up and down every aisle (with the size of that store it was probably at least two miles of walking), but even though I had my bag packed I drove past the gym and on home to watch tv for the rest of the evening.  All I felt was guilt when I got home.  Even though I completed several task around the house and went to bed a decent hour, I couldn't shake the feeling of....I can't believe you didn't go to the gym today.  It sounds like an obsession and yes it probably is, but I can't help it. 

The main reason for this is I am terrified....absolutely terrified to gain the weight back.  From the research I have done online, 85-95% of people who have significant weight loss (50lbs or more) will gain the weight back within 2 years.  And most people they gain more back than they initially lost...which means they are then heavier than when they started!  What a scary thought.  I never want to be the person I was a year and half ago.  I wasn't a bad person, but I was unhappy and unhealthy and headed to a life of health problems. So fear has made me obsessed; obsessed with going to the gym 5 days a week, obsessed with what I put in my body, obsessed with talking about what race I'm running next, but I can't help it.  Its all I think about.  I feel like if I don't constantly bring it up, I'll forget where I came from and I do not want to my weight to ever start with a 2 ever again...  Hopefully this will get better with time, until then I'm sorry my friends :)

running while away

One thing that I love about running is that you can do it anywhere.  Even if you have a weekend away or a trip planned but are training for a race you can always throw your running shoes in your bag to sneak in a quick run.  I spent the last week in California visiting some of my family.  Since I do not adjust well to the change in time zone, I was able to get up early in the mornings and catch in a quick run.  Running along the pacific coast highway was beautiful.  Here is a view of the mountians from the path:

And here are some of the beach:

Its easy to take a nice long run when this is what you are looking at! 

Now back to the grind.  I start my official 18 week Hal Higdon plan on December 28th, which means I have 4 weeks before the tough stuff really starts.  Hopefully I can make it through the holidays without a. gaining too much weight and b. getting at least 4 workouts a week.  That will be easy if I can just lay off the egg nog...

taking a break

This was a tough week.  I was pretty sick all week long, which means for the first time in over a year I took all 5 working days off from working out.  Yes, Monday through Friday I did not hit the gym or take a run outside.  I have read that taking a break from time to time is good for you, but a week with no exercise I'm not sure if I'm buying it.  It felt very strange to come home from work and just lie around.  I can't believe this is what I use to do every work night!!!  Unfortunately I do not feel as refreshed as I thought I would after a week off.  I went to the gym on Saturday and Sunday expecting to have amazing work outs, unfortunately they were less than mediocre.  This upcoming week I am on vacation in California, so hopefully I will have some amazing long runs along the beach to make up for the last week!

On a side note I have been having some shoulder problems for about the last month.  Two weeks ago my trainer Regina asked me to do push ups against a bench and when I triend my shoulder literally collapsed at this attempt.  So today I thought it would be a great idea to go and throw around a football for an hour.  Which would have been stupid to do on something that is already hurt, but it was on WRIGLEY FIELD.  I had been in the park before, but never on the field!  Here is me sitting in the visitor dug out:

I can't even put into words how awesome this was.  Imagine all the amazing baseball players that have sat in this exact spot!  So I'm going to ice the shoulder and hope it heals up soon, totally worth it.

Off to California for a week, Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Searching for answers

Anyone who knows me well, knows that I have not been the pillar of perfect health the last few months.  I have been going to to a gastro specialist to try to get to the bottom of why I have so many issues.  With this I have had quite the sampling of testing, hida scan, endoscopy, and lots of blood work.  This weekend I had my first CT Scan.  Here is a pic of me chugging down my barium pre cat scan:

I went to the doctor again today and per all medical test I am in perfect health.  This is a double edge sword.  GREAT I have nothing wrong with me, but at the same time, why oh why am I still so sick!!!  Tomorrow I have a meeting with a surgeon, hopefully this will start to supply some answers.  I know that I will be unable to train for a full marathon without figuring out what is wrong with me first.  Until then I will eat lightly, run slowly, and avoid alcohol, I am not a fan of this what so ever :(

not a fan

This weekend was the time of year when we get an extra hour and move our clocks back, which is supposedly great everyone, but I'm not buying it.  My alarm goes off at 5am everyday, lucky me, but now my body is naturally awake 4:30.  The sun is rising by 6am, but setting at a whopping 4:35pm.  Now who exactly is this helping out?  Even if I leave work as soon as I can, it will be dark by the time I get home.  I may live in Lincoln Park, but I'm not running after dark.  Which means I am bound to the treadmill for the time being and am not happy about it.  Maybe I sometime soon I will embrace my fear of the dark and take an evening jog around the block, but lets be honest I am female, its probably not safe.  The only option I have to run outside is right after work, at work, which means sitting on the Edens in traffic afterwards, awesome.  Training for a fall marathon with the long summer days would have made this much easier...

And so it begins....

Hello! 

2010 has been a great year in the life of Chelsea Kirkpatrick (although, anything would have been an upswing compared to '09).  I have finally gotten into the groove of my career, settled into living in Chicago and dropped a couple of lbs.  But nothing has been as great as the experiences I have had running!  It hasn't always been easy and I have had to learn some lessons the hard way (Chicago Rock n' Roll Half Marathon for example), but it is always been worth it when I cross the finish line.  I wish I could bottle up the feeling I had when I crossed the finish line in Nashville, who would have ever thought I would understand the notion of runners high?!?

2011 is an eventful year as well, not only are two of my closest friends tying the knot and I have my ten year hs reunion (seriously it can't be 10 years already), but I will be running in my first marathon on May 1st, 2011.  This blog is going to chronicle the very looooong journey of becoming a marathoner, the good, the bad, and ugly (like losing toenails!). 

I am not going to take this lightly.  Come on, 26.2 miles.  That's insane.  That's longer than from College Corner to any of my family members houses in Hamilton, OH.  Its longer than my commute from Chicago to Lake Forest, IL.   Its going to be long, its going to be hard, and its going to the most amazing experience ever. 

Better lace up the Asics, and get going....here's to hoping I see Julius Peppers on my afternoon jog :)