Feeling lost

I can not seem to get focused these days.  NOTHING can get me going.  I will be really good one day, and then I make one bad decision only to end up feeling full of sadness and regret.  Which leads to me either 1. drink (which is full of calories and eventually leads to consuming more food) or 2. eat.  I am not exactly one of those people that feels sad so I head to the gym?  I mean have you sat in that chair in my apartment?  It is just begging to spend Saturday afternoons sitting in it, while eating junk food and watching a Big Bang Theory marathon.  These are the marathons I need not to participate in.  I am hoping I can get back on track.  Losing weight has lost of all the glamour it once had...  It was so much fun initially now it just feels like work and is exhausting.  BUT I have to remember how great it feels to be smaller.  I need to remember how I use to feel about myself.  I now know how it feels for my clothes not to fit, or just be uncomfortably tight when worn. (my current work pants are toooooo tight and I refuse to purchase new ones)  I don't need Weight Watchers.  Or Jenny Craig.  Or Over Eaters Anonymous to help me.  The thing is I know how to do this, I just can't seem to must up the will to actually do it.  There are always biological scientific factors but the basic concept of calories burned > calories consumed will probably get me to where I need to go.  So here is my list of everything I need to do to continue to my goal (that ultimately being weighing 100 lbs less than I did at my biggest):

• Put down the bottle - Drinking is my number one downfall.  Let's be honest here I am not a one drink kind of girl.  I am more like a belly up to the bar and out drink most grown men with whiskey.  And if the calories in all those jack and cokes, blue moons, sangria's or orange bombs aren't bad enough, the food I consume during, early that morning or even the worst the next day just make it worse.  Now I am never going to stay completely sober.  I would rather never reach my goal than have to go out every Saturday night and not drink.  Or even watch a football game and not give myself the option of a cold beer.  But I need to stop the mindless drinking.  The 8 brandys and apple cider at Friendsgiving for no apparent reason.  Drinking sugar filled pineapple upside down cake drinks with my parents on Saturday afternoons.  I don't even mind a drunk night out, but if I going to drink it should be "worth it". (Seriously, am I an alcoholic? Because I sure as hell sound like it.)
• Stop eating out - Not in an overall sense.  I am too social for that.  But the day I forgot to pack my lunch (which should NEVER happen, but it does) so I eat a bento box.  Or I am just bored with my food from home so I get Jimmy John's.  Now I never eat "fast food" in the sense of Long John Silvers, McDonald's, Taco Bell (not because I don't love these places because I do, how good does a Chalupa sound right now?), but no matter how you look at it Panera and Potbelly are not that healthy...and I am pretty sure the gyro platter at Pita Queen is worse for you than a Quarter Pound with cheese extra value meal anyways.
• Pop, soda, whatever the hell you call it - I need to stop this life of moderation and face facts.  I can not drink carbonated beverages.  I can not just have one, not even every once in awhile (how often is that anyways?!?).  It is going to have to be an all or nothing thing.  I love mountain dew.  Pepsi.  Coke.  Sprite.  I named my entire blog after a 44oz fountain pop at my favorite convenience store.  This seems like an impossible task but I need to do it.  Ugh, I love Jack and cokes....the thought of never having one again makes me so sad but come on there is NOTHING redeeming about this liquid from a health stand point.  Let's see how long this lasts.
• Incorporating variety - I am not exactly cook of the year.  I know like 3 recipes.  Maybe if I make things that are appetizing and are light on the calorie front I will lose weight, but this means trying new things.  I  can eat some of things I always do, but I need to try new things as well.  No matter what eating baked salmon and canned green beans is going to get old real quick.

Ok let's see how long this new inspiration last.  (One good thing about your pants not fitting is that you have a constant physical reminder that you are getting fatter.)  I posted this sign in my cube:

And need to design a similar one for my fridge.  Here is to TRYING to not feeling lost and getting back on track....